The
old legendary friend of paddle-sport, Surf Dufect asked me to forward
this. Since Surf has done so much for paddling over the years, I felt
obliged to do so. Top Ten Ways that the NPS Keeps Paddlers off of the
Chattahoochee River:

1)
Declare that you have eminent domain over all of your (public) lands
AND the river. Close off ALL but a few access points access points
and parking areas (this makes #2-3 easy).

2)
Charge folks to use the parking areas along the rivers.

3)
Threaten city municipalities (like Roswell) and try to force them to
close off the areas that they own. Do not allow municipalities to
open any new access points. After all, this will hurt you with 1-2
above.

4)
Make lots of RULES (after all you have eminent domain). They include
closing the parks, the access points and the river at night.

5)
Hire officers to enforce the rules you have made and some that you
have not. Issue citations to force compliance and raise revenue.


6)
For giggles, paint the parking lots with black paint. This has to
really fun side effects. It burns the fire out of paddler’s feet in
the summer, and it makes anyone riding a bike wreck when it rains
because it turns slick as ice.

7) Put up gates and keep them locked
so canoe and kayak paddlers have to walk a quarter of a mile to the river (i.e. like
Johnson Ferry).

8)
If you ever find a group of paddlers, demand to know where their
special use permit is. If there is any evidence that it might be an
organized event, make them buy one (like the $1500 the GA Tech
paddling club had to pay for having a flat-water race).


9)
Make it impossible to ever hold an organized event such as a race or
training camp.

10)
Make canoe and kayak paddlers and the general public believe that the water in your
river is a “Health Hazard.” Put up large metal signs at every
access point that say: “Warning, using this river is Hazardous to
your Heath”. Keep the signs locked so they are always locked in the
Hazardous position. That way, most paddlers will think that there is
always a severe water quality problem even though your river is
better than the standard 93% of the time.


Surf
Dufect


by
John Pinyerd
From
The Eddy Line, November 2006