IN
PRISON — you spend the majority of your time in an8x10 cell.

AT
WORK — you spend most of your time in a 6×8 cubicle.

IN
A KAYAK — you spend most of your time in a 6×1 boat.

IN
PRISON — you get three meals a day.

AT
WORK — you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for
it.

IN
A KAYAK — you survive on gorp, powerbars, and instant lentils.

IN
PRISON — you get time off for good behavior.

AT
WORK — you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

IN
A KAYAK — your reward for good behavior is the rocks quit hitting
you on the head.

IN
PRISON — a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.

AT
WORK — you must carry around a security card and unlock and open
all the doors yourself.

IN
A KAYAK — you must keep your grab loop outside the skirt in order
to open the door.

IN
PRISON — you can watch TV and play games.

AT
WORK — you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN
A KAYAK — you fire the TV and life becomes a game.

IN
PRISON — you get your own toilet.

AT
WORK — you have to share.

IN
A KAYAK — you just pee in your wet suit. If you’re like me you do
this above a class IV.

IN
PRISON — they allow your family and friends to visit.

AT
WORK — you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

IN
A KAYAK — your family can’t find you and your friends can’t hear
you over the river.

IN
PRISON — all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.

AT
WORK — you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they
deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN
A KAYAK — you pay your expenses by working the month that the river
is down.

IN
PRISON — you spend most of your life looking through bars from the
inside wanting to get out.

AT
WORK — you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside
bars.

IN
A KAYAK — you don’t need to go to bars; rafters are more than
willing to toss you a Bud.

IN
PRISON — you are warm and dry.

AT
WORK — you get wet and cold before getting warm and dry again.

IN
A KAYAK — well… you will be wet and cold.

IN
PRISON — there are wardens who are often sadistic.

AT
WORK — they are called managers.

IN
A KAYAK — they are called rapids.

Next


From a posting to the Merrimac Valley Paddlers email list

Reprinted in The Eddy Line, May 2006